The Westboro Baptist Church! Are Fucking Themselves in the Arse.

The Westboro Baptist Church, for the few that aren’t aware are a fairly deluded lot, who if god were almighty would have been aborted before their life of Headlines, Hatred and Hypocrisy began. Never the Less this group have a particular focus this week, not brainwashing their children, picketing at the funerals of American service men and women or claiming responsibility for natural disasters; No they are hating on the film Red State.

 

Yes, this week Fred Phelps (Westboro’s leader) with his infinitely unfathomable logic has decided that “God hates fags, God hates fag enablers,therefore God hates Kevin Smith." Kevin being the Director of Red State.  Now I have decided it’s pointless to write another article simply hating on these people as it will only enrage readers further, so I shall give you a list of 5 ways Westboro are fucking themselves in the arse:

1. By choosing Kevin Smiths new movie Red State as their target they have increased the media coverage on it, so increasing viewings and sales. They could have saved some time and just given Kevin a Cheque.
2. By indoctrinating their children from such a young age, they are sadly insuring them complete social rejection at school, leading to a poor education, few job prospects and so reduced funding to the church.
3. The vast majority of Westboro members are from the same family, and with no new members from outside the family joining, numbers can only decline. That is unless Papa Phelps can justify incest.
4. Westboro’s actions have lead to hundreds of counter marches for gay pride, which will have subsequently lead to greater acceptance of gay’s and so more homosexual activity.
5. If God is real there aint a chance Fred Phelps is going anywhere but Hell.

Justin Bieber... So much hate!

Now don’t get me wrong, I do hate Justin Bieber; and if anyone asked me why, I would inform them how his music is awful and destroying the industry, jumping up on some high horse as if I give a crap. Then desperately make it look as if I’m trying to help him, by informing the world that if his life continues this way he will end up losing it like Britney, or LindsayLohan. Really I couldn’t care less; but I was thinking earlier today why? Why did I automatically think TWAT when I saw a story about him crashing his Ferrari F430, and it suddenly became so obvious.....

Jealousy, I and the majority of the world’s male population are Jealous of a 17 year old. It’s ridiculous, he is the butt of every joke, and disliked by millions; and I after having this realisation have decided, fair enough. We should be allowed to hate him, I’m 20 have only owned one car which was a Renault Clio, am currently in my overdraft and am not going out with an attractive celebrity.  Whereas he 3 years my Junior has a selection of super cars, his own house, a career earning him millions and thousands of adoring female fans. Does he really care if a few guys don’t like him?

 

So I say let the hate continue, for the sake of the common man; allow us to justify our existence by hating on someone who has achieved more than we are likely to ever manage. Let us believe in our own screwed up way we are better than him, because come on, admit it, he is a little Twat.  

Chris Brown. The world's luckiest Cunt.

Now I am no feminist by any stretch of the imagination, I think people should just play the hand they are dealt and get on with their life. But the other day I was reminded of something, Chris Brown, who had an apparently “Awesome VMA Performance” is still famous! The Phrase “What the fuck” has never been more apt. It literally boggles my mind that a man who beat his then girlfriend (Rihanna) is still allowed on TV without a disclaimer, informing viewers of his prior actions and how his views are likely to offend your ear drums. 

 If anyone, from his mainly female fan base are now reading this thinking “Poor Chris. His life wasn’t easy” or “We're all human we all make mistakes”.  I can happily inform you this wasn’t a one off; remember his This Morning America interview, when after being asked about his restraining order against Rihanna, he trashed his dressing room, smashed a window with a chair, ripped his top off and exited the building! And we can be fairly sure there have been other incidents of this nature that have been kept under wraps.

Obviously Chris Brown himself angers me but what pisses me off to a similar extent is how the general public and celebrities are acting as if none of this has happened, blindly forgiving a man who clearly has severe issues. With the exception of Jay Z (who refused to clap or smile) everyone in the VMA crowd was going wild for Brown’s performance. How has our society reached a point where a man can beat his girlfriend and have stories/pictures publicly released about it and then receive basically no punishment, I’m all for forgiveness but not when the person doesn’t change. I guess my point is, it scares me to think that Chris Brown is now back in the celebrity forefront and being idolised by so many teenagers, when there is clearly something fundimentally wrong with the man.

So the only advice I can offer you is this. Next time you hear or see someone listening to,  playing or purchasing anything Chris Brown, just punch them in the face (whether they're male or female)because apparently no one gives a shit.

Hurricane Irene! She'll blow you like a Prostitute on Acid.

Hurricane Irene, this huge weather system is considered to be America’s biggest Hurricane threat in years. As a Brit I have no concept of extreme weather conditions;  our docile Island avoids basically everything, although we will insist on making an impressive fuss over a slight gale, a bit a snow or an ash cloud, ye you remember that the news reported it like it was fkin, WW3. Anyway the real problem right now is in the US this monstrous hurricane is set to move across Miami and Florida and being a category 3-4 storm the potential is scary.  For those of you not in the know (like me before I goggled it) a cat4 storm is one with winds between 131-155 mph, basically it will blow you like a prostitute on acid, so either get out of there or keep your wits about you. As the hurricane moves further down the East coast it’s predicted to drop to a cat2 (96-110mph) allot safer but still you may wana super glue your Toupee on.  Currently Irene has just hit Puerto Rico and left it in a state of emergency and although everything above is just based on predictions I hope everyone involved  takes the threat seriously and deals with it in the best way they can.

Catch the Pigeon! nab him jab him stab him grab him...

Who knew Dick Dastardly and Muttley had a Yahoo account, and that they suffer from severe Dyslexia.

Libya, It's only just begun.

I don't claim to be any great font of knowledge on war, invasion the demolition of some regimes and the rise of others, but I have noticed this. Getting the big guy to step down whether it's Gaddafi, Saddam or Egypt's Mubarak doesn't seem to be the most trialling part, yes it takes huge courage and determination to put your life on the line and fight for what you believe in, but all in all that appears to be the easier bit. Egypt’s, Mubarak stepped down in February, it's now August and things don't appear to be getting better; the countries still under military rule with talks of a second up-rising varying groups of people all with varying views of which direction the country should head. And everyone knows the case in Iraq although forces managed to capture Saddam and claimed to have the city “secure” within a year, it’s now 2011 (7’ish years on) and yes it's better, but to what extent? Anyway I suppose my point is without continuation of the media spotlight on Libya and a clear plan for the country, it is scary to think what could happen and how long it could take, forming a government isn't an easy task especially when there are so many people grabbing for that power and a vast array of views on how the country should be run. I hope everything goes smoothly and I’m just being cynical but I fear it will not; what do you think?